Fun stuff: Decoding Sale Adverts

[HorsegirlDylan]

Event Prospect: Big, fast horse

Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow horse

Pleasure Prospect: Pretty color

Sporting Prospect: Short, fast horse

Barrel Prospect: Fast horse, which can turn and/or looks like a barrel

Endurance Prospect: Fast horse which will turn sometimes

Flashy: White sock

15'2" hh: 14'3" hh

16'2" hh: 15'3" hh

Big Trot: Can't canter within a two-mile straightaway

Nicely Started: Longes, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet

Bold: Runaway

Athletic: Runaway

Quiet: Lame in both front legs

Dead Quiet: Lame in all four legs

Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all around, deaf, and blind.

Pony type: Small and hairy

Arab type: Looks startled

Thoroughbred type: Looks terrified

Easy keeper: Fat

Easy to catch: Dead

Elegant: Thin

Black: Brown and/or dirty

Well-Mannered: Hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a week

Professionally Trained: Hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a month

Clips, Hauls, Loads: Clippity Clippity is the sound his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking lot when you try to load him.

Should Mature to 16 hands: Currently 14 hands, dam is 14'2, sire is 14'3, every horse in his pedigree back 18 generations is under 15 hands, but this horse will defy his DNA and grow.

To Loving Home Only: Expensive

To Show Home Only: Very Expensive

To Good Home Only: Not really for sale unless you can 1) Pay twice what he is worth or 2) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document allowing the current owner to tuck in to beddy-bye every night

For Sale Due to Lack of Time: Rider cannot afford to spend any more time in the hospital

Any Vet Check Welcome: Please pay for us to find out what the heck is wrong with him!

Recently Vetted: Someone else found something really wrong with this horse

Must Sell: Spouse has left home and taken the kids

All Offers Considered: I am in traction for 6 months
(above by Rivenwood)

Green broke: We got him saddled, but he wont let us touch anything else
(by Stirrup)

Good Trail Horse: Slips in mud, steps on her own feet.

Affectionate Mare: Can't touch her hooves, tries to bite farrier, doesn't want to be petted
(above two by blackforest0)

Private treaty: we can't tell you the price because you will have a heart attack
(by the eagle stallion)

Part of the family: The part we ignore
(by LustreBustre)

Needs Experienced Rider: you can get one foot in the stirrup before taking off at a dead run
(by starryeyes)

Would suit novice rider: They don't know what they're in for
(by crosscountry star)

He'll fit right in: This horse will take off running through barb wire fencing just to get to the neibors yard to eat the grass that looks better but has pesticide on it
(by Jen+Britt)

[AngelMare]

Our children's horse, Luke is: a Pleasure Prospect, 16'2hh, has a Big Trot, Quiet, Professionally Trained, Thoroughbred type, Elegant, Recently Vetted, Good Trail Horse, and Part of the family.
My horse Stomper is: an Event Prospect, Endurance Prospect, 16'2hh, an Easy Keeper, Professionally Trained, Black, and a Good Trail Horse.
Our stallion, Champion is: an Event Prospect, Barrel Prospect, Flashy, 16'2hh, Elegant, Well-Mannered, and Would suit a novice rider.

Anyhow, that's an exaggeration. Here are the horses under investigation:

Stomper


Luke (he's fuzzy here because it was winter when I took the picture)


Champion

[HorsegirlDylan]

Mani is: Event prospect, Barrel prospect, Flashy, 16'2"+ hh, Elegant, Black, Professionally trained, Clips, hauls, loads, Part of the family, Would fit novice rider.
OR
Mani is: Eventer/Showjumper gelding, can jump over 3ft, has 3 small socks, chestnut with black mane and tail (We dunno whatthe heck his color is.). 16'1" hh or so. 15yo. Irish, gone thru Germany. Scared to death of crops, clippers, electric rasps, and anything with with a high-pitched engine. ID/tb cross.
(I would attach picture but this is the best I can get:)

He's a serial eater.